TEMPLE EMANUEL

CHERRY HILL, NEW JERSEY

SHABBAT SHALOM FROM TEMPLE EMANUEL

WE HOPE THAT THIS WILL ADD TO YOUR FAMILY'S ENJOYMENT OF SHABBAT

Shabbat, November 15, 2008 / 17 Cheshvan 5769

Vayera Genesis 18:1 - 22:24

Overview

* Abraham welcomes three visitors, who announce that Sarah will soon have a son. (18:1-15)

* Abraham argues with God about the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. (18:16-33)

* Lot's home is attacked by the people of Sodom. Lot and his two daughters escape as the cities are being destroyed. Lot's wife is turned into a pillar of salt. (19:1-29)

* Lot impregnates his daughters, and they bear children who become the founders of the nations Moab and Ammon. (19:30-38)

* Abimelech, king of Gerar, takes Sarah as his wife after Abraham claims that she is his sister. (20:1-18)

* Isaac is born, circumcised, and weaned. Hagar and her son, Ishmael, are sent away; an angel saves their lives. (21:1- 21)

* God tests Abraham, instructing him to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Moriah. (22:1-19)

God appears, in Hebrew "Vayera," to Abraham. Abraham is sitting at the entrance to his tent when three men approach. He greets them and offers them a place to rest and food to eat. They accept his hospitality. Abraham asks Sarah to prepare cakes and then he chooses a calf for a servant to prepare.

One of the men then informs Abraham that Sarah will give birth to a son. Sarah overhears this and laughs to herself because she is well past child-bearing age and Abraham is quite old as well. Adonai asks Abraham why Sarah laughed at the idea that she would soon be a mother. Sarah tells Abraham that she did not laugh. She denies her original response because she is frightened that God will view it as a lack of faith. But God assures Abraham that Sarah did indeed laugh.

The three men then set off for Sodom. We hear God questioning whether or not Abraham should be informed about the impending destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Because God has chosen Abraham to be a great nation, to be a source of blessing to the other nations of the world, and to be a role model of justice and righteousness, God decides to tell him. Abraham then begins bargaining with God in hopes of saving the inhabitants of those cities. When it is clear that no one in the city is innocent, God's decree remains in effect.

Two angels arrive in Sodom and are greeted at the city gate by Lot who urges them to accept his hospitality. They do so, but the townspeople of Sodom do not approve of the presence of strangers and demand that Lot turn them out of his home. The Sodomites resent Lot and try to harm him, but his guests protect him. The guests then inform Lot that he and any of his family in the city must leave because they have been sent to destroy it. Lot tells his sons-in-law about the impending destruction but they choose not to believe him.

With the destruction imminent the angels insist that Lot and his family hurry but they delay. Finally, the angels grab Lot, two of his daughters and his wife, and bring them out of the city. They are warned not to look behind them as they leave. Unfortunately Lot's wife does not obey. She looks back and is immediately turned into a pillar of salt.

As was promised, Sarah becomes pregnant. Abraham and Sarah have a son whom they name Isaac and on the eighth day of his life he is circumcised.

Isaac grows up and is weaned and Abraham holds a great feast in his honor. Sarah wants Hagar and Ishmael thrown out of their home so that Ishmael will not have any part of Isaac's inheritance. Abraham is very unhappy about this, but God tells him to listen to Sarah. Hagar and Ishmael are cast out into the wilderness. Ishmael nearly dies but his cry is heard and an angel of Adonai reassures Hagar that Ishmael will live to become a great nation.

God decides to test Abraham and commands him to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Abraham prepares to do this and as his hand is raised to carry out the sacrifice an angel of Adonai calls out for him to stop. Because of Abraham's willingness to obey God's command, the promise of a great nation described as numerous as the stars in heaven and the sands of the seashore is repeated.

DID YOU KNOW...Rabbi Huna, who lived during the Rabbinic period announced that mealtimes at his home were to be considered an open invitation to strangers. Rabbi Huna had a saying, "Kol dichfin yaytay v'yachul", "Let all who are hungry, come and eat." This expression has become part of our Passover Haggadah.

AND A JOKE ---A father was reading a Torah story to his young son. He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son quizzically looked at his father and asked, "What happened to the flea?"

Ideas for Participating in the Mitzvah of Haknasat Orchim --If new members are listed in your temple bulletin make it a point to seek them out and welcome them to your community. You just may be making a new friend for yourself, your family and your community. Share a holiday meal or celebration with a new member or family. You don't have to limit it to someone who has just joined your community, include people you would like to get to know.

The Messenger in Each of Us
Laurence P. Malinger

When I was eighteen months old, I was involved in an accident. I was running in the kitchen and accidentally tripped over the cord of a coffee percolator. The hot liquid spilled onto me and burned most of my left side. In addition, due to the severity of this accident, I was given an antibiotic to help fight off infection. The drug saved my life but caused nerve damage to my ears and affected my hearing. During the next fifteen years of my life, I underwent numerous surgeries as well as steroid injections to weaken scar tissue and alleviate the pain they caused to my growing body.

Throughout all of these experiences I felt alone, even though I was surrounded by loving parents and family. Yet I met many malachim—“messengers” who comforted and helped guide me through many challenges. In this week’s parasha, Vayeira, we see Abraham recovering from his own circumcision, and “looking up, he saw: lo-three men standing opposite him!” (Genesis 18:2). These messengers reveal a profound communication of hope to Abraham: that he and Sarah will be blessed with a son in a year’s time.

Many of us can share in the joy and celebration that Abraham and Sarah feel, even though they are advanced in age, for we know how wonderful it is to welcome a new life into the world. Entire communities exult in hearing about the coming of a new life. Just as we enjoy sharing the good news, we also need to share in the hope and optimism it brings and become, in effect, angels of compassion and mercy.

In my own childhood, caring nurses and empathic doctors often spent time talking with me and seeing me as a normal child, not as a deformed creature. Their actions helped assuage bad feelings created by taunting children who did not really understand or know how to react. This is similar to the story told in Vayeira. After the messengers tell Abraham the exciting news, we read, “So Sarah laughed inwardly, thinking: ‘Now that I am withered, will I have pleasure, with my lord so old!’” (Genesis 18:12). God is annoyed when Sarah laughs, showing her discomfort. One can argue that through their laughter and discomfort, Sarah and the taunting children act as “messengers” that help create more empathy in others. What message do we convey when we meet with another? Can we be an angel of joy and hope in someone’s time of need?

We are all messengers who have a mission to share with others in our world. As Rabbi Samuel M. Stahl states, “An angel is a mere messenger. Therefore every human being who has a mission, for that matter, is an angel” (Making the Timeless Timely [Austin, TX: Nortex Press, 1993], pp. 248 − 49). We each have the potential to make a difference in someone’s life. A soft smile, a kind word, a gentle touch of comfort - all of these enable us to truly become emissaries of God.

Rabbi Laurence P. Malinger serves as rabbi of Temple Shalom of Aberdeen in Aberdeen, New Jersey, and as president of the New Jersey West Hudson Valley Association of Reform Rabbis of the CCAR.

WALKING TOGETHER
Helen T. Cohn

Parents and children often live in separate worlds. No matter how close they may be emotionally, their experiences, friends, and values are generally quite distinct. Our challenge, both as parents and children, is to maintain our bond with one another in the face of different life choices and separate worldviews.

This is one of the many themes of the Akeidah, the binding of Isaac, which occurs in this week's Torah portion, Vayera. This story shows us a parent and child who, on the one hand, hardly communicate with each other and, on the other hand, are connected in the deepest way.

Obeying God's call to offer Isaac as a sacrifice, Abraham gets up early in the morning and prepares for the journey, taking Isaac, two servants, an ass, and wood that he had split for a burnt offering.

During the three days of their journey, Abraham and Isaac seem to walk in silence. The silence between them registers louder than any words they might have exchanged. It is as if the parent and child, although physically together, are traveling in separate worlds.

"Then Isaac said to his father, Abraham, 'Father!' And he answered, Hineni, v'ni, 'Yes, my son.'" (Genesis 22:7) Just as Abraham had earlier answered God with Hineni, "Here I am!" (Genesis 22:1) so does Abraham now answer his son: Hineni v'ni, "Here I am, my son!" Abraham is again fully present: That is what hineni means. He is fully present to the demands made by God, and he is equally present for his son when his son calls out to him.

Isaac has only one line in the story. He says: "Here are the firestone and the wood; but where is the sheep for the burnt offering?" (Genesis 22:7) The text does not convey Isaac's tone of voice to us. Is it naive? Nervous? But Isaac is old enough to carry a large bundle of wood; surely, then, he is old enough to protest or even run away. Yet he stays with his father, in spite of whatever apprehensions he might have.

Abraham and Isaac walk together for three days, barely speaking. Yet Abraham shows that he is fully present for his son. And Isaac, by his constant presence at Abraham's side, shows his unwavering trust in his father.

The lesson for us is simple but far-reaching: Tension between parent and child is inevitable. We are separate individuals from separate generations. But, we maintain our bond across this gap by trusting that our parents' actions are in good faith and by continuing to walk by their side. When our children call, we, as parents, maintain our bond with them by responding Hineni!, "Here I am, my child!"

Rabbi Helen T. Cohn is the associate rabbi at Congregation Emanu-El in San Francisco, CA.

The Pleasure of Giving
by Rabbi Shaul Rosenblatt

You are traveling in the desert with two friends. It's a boiling hot day. You see some tents in the distance, seemingly a Bedouin camp. Suddenly, running crazily towards you, a 99-year-old man appears. He dives at your feet, face in the sand, and implores, "Please my masters, if I have found favor in your eyes, do not pass by the tent of your humble slave. Stay a while. I will personally wash your feet and provide food. Sit in the shade of my tree - and afterwards you may go."

Try to picture it for a minute: What would you think?

Most people would be concerned that this is some sort of psychopath who plans to chop them into little pieces and bury them under his floorboards. At the very least, there must be a catch, something in it for him. After all, nobody in this world does something for nothing. Does he?

I doubt that many would take Abraham up on his offer.

It says a great deal about the society in which we live, that when someone wants to do something for us, we are suspicious. Why would someone want to do something for me if there was no gain for him? And most of the time, we are correct. It's a terrible shame, though, that we need to be so wary. After all, which should be the anomaly: a person who cares about others and gives to them selflessly, or a society that is suspicious of such a person?

Abraham was the person in Jewish history who, above all else, exemplified chesed - kindness. It was not strange for Abraham to run to potential guests and beg them to partake of his generosity. He loved humanity and, above all else, his mission in life was to make people happy. There are few deeper pleasures than of giving to others, and Abraham knew that well. Every one of us enjoys giving much more than taking. Giving expands and satisfies us. Taking leaves us ultimately feeling empty. That's why parents usually get more pleasure from their children, than children do from their parents - even though the children 'receive' much more.

So why do we not give as much as we could?

We are misled into believing that by giving, we somehow lose out. If I give to someone else, there is surely less for me. It's true, but only in the short term. In the long term, giving gives us back so much more than we gave. Abraham understood this and his life was about giving. We, as his spiritual heirs, have the same trait within us. Giving does make us happy. If we would keep reminding ourselves of this, we could find a lot more happiness.

Most people, having won the lottery, would be in a hurry to bank the check. Abraham was in a hurry to bank his check also. But while a lottery win is finite, the pleasure to which Abraham ran was eternal and unlimited.

Real Peace
by Rabbi Stephen Baars

I forget the number, but studies show average American teenagers have seen hundreds of murders on TV.

As bad as this sounds, that's not the worst news.

They've seen love stories, too.

By the time anyone with a TV gets married they have seen enough "happy endings" to make even the most cynical groom believe that all he has to do is kiss his bride in the morning and they will live happily ever after.

Action and romance movies train us to believe ridiculous things. Like murders only occur when gloomy music is playing in the background. I first learned how dangerous this "training" was when I was mugged in Los Angeles to the wrong background music.

People raised on this fodder believe dark music precedes bad things and that all marriages end in an argument. Happily married couples never argue, according to Hollywood, and couples that have even the slightest dispute are in big trouble.

For some reason, even couples who have good marriages feel they need to protect their children from seeing their parents tackle thorny issues. "Not in front of the kids" is the parenting mantra for countless Westerners, in the vain hope that the children will never see an argument and therefore think they are happily married.

A careful reader of the Torah would have a hard time coming to that conclusion. I should add that no surveyor of married couples would believe that either. All people who are happily married argue. In fact, up to a point, there is a direct correlation between the amount of arguing and the amount of happiness in a marriage.

Anything meaningful can never be finished. Anything that is meaningful will always need more work. You never get to the end.

This point is made frighteningly clear in this week's Torah portion. Abraham and Sarah, how should I say it, "go at it" but good.

The basic story is there for you to read but the outline is this: God informs Abraham that he is going to have a child. Sarah overhears and finds this rather amusing, being that she is "well advanced in years." Sarah remarks to herself how odd, after all these years and how "worn out" she is. On top of that, she notes, Abraham is pretty old too!

God finds Sarah's words a little, ummmm, let's say, out of line, and tells Abraham. For God, nothing is too difficult. How could Sarah doubt Him?

However, when God tells Abraham what Sarah said, He changes Sarah's words a little. Instead of what she really said, He tells him that she said, "Sarah was too old" (Genesis 18:13.)

Rashi, the pre-eminent Torah commentator, explains that, for peace, God changed Sarah's words.

Well, you can just imagine what happens next. Abraham had just been told by God that Sarah was, to say politely, lacking. Picture if you will, God came and told you about some indiscretion your spouse had committed. There you have Sarah and Abraham, a long-married couple, "going at it," and this was no discussion about the virtues of Plato's philosophy. No, the argument they had could be summed up like this:

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't."

I know I shouldn't say this, but this is not what I would call, deep.

Before I go on to the lesson, I want to mention how absolutely riveting and meaningful this is. Rabbi Nachum Braverman has a cute line about this. "You want to know which couples in a restaurant have been married the longest? See who is talking the least."

After a few years, we pretty much know who our spouses are. And we also give up trying to sway them on issues we know we have tried before. We tend to given up after the first round. And that's not a healthy marriage. Abraham and Sarah were married for decades and they never gave up on trying to help each other see the truth.

Nothing in life that is meaningful is ever finished. Marriage is meaningful.

OK, back to the story. Those who have been reading the Torah all the way through will have some troubling questions right about now. For one, in last week's Torah portion (Genesis 17:15-17), God tells Abraham that he is going to have a child (very similar to this week's story) and Abraham finds it so funny he falls over!

Pretty funny, heh? Not as humorous as the reaction of Sarah, who laughed only to herself. So, Abraham found it pretty funny and hard to believe that he who was 100 years old could have a child. Yet, God doesn't go to Sarah and tell her about Abraham's apparent disbelief. But He does tell Abraham when Sarah is the one who is lacking.

Not only that, but God changed Sarah's words, we are told, for peace. What peace? Because of what God told Abraham, I wouldn't say a war broke out, but I wouldn't call it peace either.

Better still, if God wants Sarah to believe it's possible for Him to give her a baby, God need say nothing and within a few months, Sarah will pretty much figure it out on her own.

Not only that, but when has it been the way of God to tell a husband the failings of his wife? I doubt many of us could survive for long if God told our spouses what we were really thinking. Anyone who has been married for more than about 10 minutes knows what I mean.

To sum up: For peace, God changed Sarah's words, but wouldn't it have been better to have not said anything?

REAL PEACE

There is no peace between the United States of America and New Zealand. I hope this news doesn't mean that we start landing troops on their beaches.

There is no peace, but there is no war either. There is nothing. You don't have peace with your bank manager, nor with the plumber or maid.

Peace is not a lack of conflict. The fact that we don't argue doesn't mean we have peace. Peace is the coming together of minds.

"Peace now" is as absurd a statement as "agree now."

Interestingly, for peace you have to agree, even if you are both wrong.

It is possible to have peace even though you both have the wrong beliefs. When both Abraham and Sarah believed it was not possible to have children, they had peace. And therefore God did not tell Sarah that Abraham did not believe (in Chapter 17.)

Only when Abraham came to believe it was possible and Sarah did not, then they no longer had peace. At that point, therefore, God came and told Abraham, "You don't have peace. Talk to your wife."

If you want to have peace you have to work out your differences.

God not only changed Sarah's words for peace, He told Abraham for peace.

LYING AND PEACE

So, why then did God change Sarah's words?

Let me tell you my favorite joke:

Doctor to patient: "I am sorry to tell you, you only have three months to live."

Patient: "Can I get a second opinion?"

Doctor: "Sure, you are ugly too."

Rarely do spouses fall out because of an argument over paint.

"Let's paint the room blue?"

"No, I prefer pink."

"What's wrong with blue?"

"Blue reminds me of your mother, and you know how she's got awful taste. I think that's where you got it from."

This argument will last years, and whatever paint color is chosen will not resolve the issues.

When we are arguing, we can't add "You're too old." It doesn't help resolve the issue because it has nothing to do with the issue. It will take us away from peace because it doesn't help us resolve our differences.

CONCLUSION

I would like to finish with this one thought: Peace comes through the resolving of issues. This is usually a distressful process, whether with spouses, families, friends or even with countries and cultures.

I believe the world is engaged in its current conflict over real issues and that, maybe, this is very different than previous conflicts, which were primarily over money.

If this is so, our future is bright.

Please God, this will lead to peace, real peace.

BRAINSTORMING QUESTIONS TO PONDER

Question 1: Do you think the world is closer to real peace than 100 years ago?

Question 2: Are there things you don't like to talk about?

Question 3: When we say, "peace be upon you - Shalom Aleichem" what do we mean?

APPEL'S PARSHA PAGE

by Rabbi Yehuda Appel

The Russian Czar Nicholas I, in his efforts to destroy Jewish life, demanded that each Jewish community provide soldiers for his forces. These young men, called "Cantonists," were typically drafted at the age of 12 and served in the Russian army for 25 years. They did not serve in the regular army, however, but in separate units under the most anti-Semitic officers. The Russian hope was that they would eventually convert to the Russian church. Ultimately, many of these young men did lose their Jewish identity. Others were killed, and many took their own lives rather than be baptized.

It so happened during this period, that there was a meeting in St. Petersburg of many of the great rabbis of the time. The meeting took place around the High Holidays and there was some speculation as to which rabbi should be given the honor of leading the Rosh Hashana services. Right before the services were to begin, a group of Cantonists walked into the shul and announced that one of them would lead the prayers. Seeing the quizzical looks on the faces of the rabbis, one of the Cantonists lifted his shirt, exposing his back. The flesh was a mass of scarred tissue, testifying to the many beatings he'd endured to maintain his Jewish faith. With no further discussion, the Cantonist was given the honor of leading the services.

Sacrifice and a willingness to undergo hardships for the right cause has long been a hallmark of Jewish greatness. Loyalty to a just cause is a great source of meaning and fulfillment. As the Sages say: "According to the difficulty, is the (divine) reward."

Nowhere is the importance of sacrifice more evident than in this week's Torah portion, Vayera. In the parasha, Abraham is commanded by the Almighty to offer his only son Isaac on an altar. In perhaps the most moving of all Torah passages, Abraham is told to bring "your son, your only one, the one you love" and bind him on an altar at Mount Moriah.

The Midrash describes how Abraham's life was a series of spiritual tests. At a young age, he risked his life to fight against idolatry. Later on, hearkening to G-d's call, he left everything behind, following God’s dictates to go to a strange, new land. Now he was being asked to make the greatest of all sacrifices: to offer up his son. This was the son for whom Abraham and his wife Sara -previously childless - had spent decades praying for! All his dreams, all his teachings, the legacy he had hoped to pass down to mankind had been riding on this son. And now he was to slaughter him.

It was the cruelest of ironies that Abraham, who had spent decades preaching against idolatry and human sacrifice, was now being asked to perform this pagan practice. The Bible reports, though, how Abraham, with no sign of hesitation, took Isaac for the 3-day trip to Mount Moriah, then bound him on the altar. Abraham was about to slaughter his son... when an angel intervened - stopping the sacrifice.

The obvious question is: Why did the Almighty put Abraham through this test in the first place? Of course the Omniscient One already knew how Abraham would face this test!

In the view of many commentaries, the purpose of this test was to help Abraham reach a greater level of loyalty to the Almighty. While it is true that Abraham must have had this potential all along, having the potential to do something is not the same as doing it. Through this trial, Abraham actualized his potential and grew tremendously.

The Abarbanel (15th century Spanish rabbi) has a different interpretation. He sees the purpose of the binding not so much as a lesson for Abraham, but more as a message for the whole world. The Abarbanel points out that the Hebrew word for test - "nisa" -has in its root the word "ness" which means "banner." The primary purposes of Abraham’s actions were to show successive generations the degree to which sacrifice is possible.

Whether it was the Cantonists or others, this lesson was learned quite well by Abraham's spiritual descendants who made great sacrifices to fulfill the Almighty's will.

Family Parsha for Parents and Kids
by Nesanel Safran

Many times a person's actions speak louder than their words. Impressive sounding promises and claims are worth very little if they are not backed up by deeds. In fact when it comes to doing good to others, a person should try to do even more for somebody than he committed himself to do. We learn this good trait in this week's Torah portion from our ancestor Abraham. When Abraham invited some weary desert travelers to stay at his home as guests, he offered them a light snack, thinking they would not be embarrassed to accept such a small bite to eat. But then he and his wife Sarah prepared them a feast fit for a king! Like Abraham, we should try our best to say little and do much.STORY

ORY

In our story we meet a girl who lets her actions do her talking.

"COMING CLEAN"

Carol Linder didn't know what to do. Her parents were coming home from their ten-day vacation the next morning and her house was a major MESS. She really meant to keep the house neat but as she put off the clean up for 'just one more day,' things really started piling up.

That whole day in school she had trouble concentrating as images of dirty dishes and disappointed parents kept swimming in her head. At lunch break Carol got an idea. She walked over to the next table where two of her friends, Jill and Marci, were eating and sat down next to them.

"Hi Carol!" said Jill "That was a great get-together at your house the other night. We were just talking about it."

Carol smiled. "Er ... well, speaking of the party..." she said, "I'm glad everybody liked it, but it really trashed the house. Do you think that you guys might be able to come over this afternoon to help me straighten things up? My parents are coming home tomorrow and..."

"No problem!" Jill cut her off with a dramatic wave of the hand. "You can count on me. I'll come by right after school and I'll take care of everything!"

"That's great, Jill. Thanks."

"What do you say Marci?" Jill asked looking at the other girl.

"I can't promise, but I'll try to come," Marci answered matter-of-factly.

Later that afternoon Carol heard the doorbell ring. "Oh great! That must be Jill, just like she said," thought Carol.

She rushed to open the door and was surprised to see Marci, standing there with a mop and bucket in hand! "Well let's get to work!" Marci said with a cheerful smile.

The girls set to work. Minutes turned into hours as Marci led the way, working non-stop sweeping, mopping, dusting, scrubbing, shining, and straightening until they finally stopped to take a breather. Carol's house looked more like a five-star hotel.

"Wow Marci, I don't know what to say. You really came through and saved the day!" beamed Carol.

It was nearly nighttime when the girls sat down to a cold drink. Just then they heard a soft knocking at the door. It was Jill. "Um, hi guys," she said sheepishly. "I'm here to help out, but I've got to go in a few minutes, OK?"

"Well if you want you can join us for a drink," Carol said, "but thanks to Marci the job's already done."

QUESTION

Ages 3-5

Q. Which of her friends did Carol expect to help her more?
A. Jill, because she promised so much and Marci didn't.

Q. In the end who really helped out more?
A. Marci. She promised little but did a lot.

Ages 6-9

Q. What reveals more about a person's true character: what he says or what he does? Why?
A. While words are important and do tell us something about a person, actions reveal much more. Often a person might say something to give a certain impression or because he feels that it is what he is 'supposed' to say. How a person actually behaves can really help you know how he feels inside.

Q. Why do you think that Carol was surprised to see Marci when she first opened the door?
A. When Carol had first asked her friends for help, it was Jill, not Marci who seemed enthusiastic. But unlike Jill who promised a lot yet ended up doing very little, Marci let her deeds do her talking by doing much more than she said she would.

Q. Which kind of friend would you rather have (or be)?

Q. Why do you think people promise to do much more than they end up doing?

Ages 10 and Up

Q. Why do you think it is better to promise less and do more rather than simply promise what you really think you can do?
A. One of the highest values is integrity. A big part of this is the ability to stand behind one's word. Often when we make big promises we may even hope or expect to fulfill them. Yet perhaps we have over-estimated or not considered a factor, which might prevent us from doing what we said. In such a case we may end up letting down and actually harming someone that we have intended to help. By being modest with our promises and then trying our best to give as much as we can we will often exceed our commitments and leave others pleasantly surprised.

Q. Are there any exceptions when it is advisable to make large commitments? A. There are times when we want to do something valuable yet difficult, but we suspect that we might lose our courage to do so. At such times if we express our intentions to others, we might provide ourselves with enough self-imposed 'peer pressure' to see it through. Likewise when we want to encourage others to do something worthwhile, if we publicly announce our intention to also do so, it could help to lift others up.

Shabbat Shalom,

Mayda Clarke